This year

Since the girls were born in February, this is our year:

Bek has done 2296 double breastfeeds (that's over 4500 feeds altogether)

We have changed 6720 nappies

We have washed 2625 cloth nappies, and spent over $1000 on disposable nappies before the girls fit into cloth

We have done 140 loads of baby clothes washing

We have rocked babies to sleep about 2800 times

We have had around 1435 hours of broken sleep (the average person has 2394 hours in 10 months)

We have moved house once (our 6th move)

We have been to the hospital 4 times (birth, surgeries, reflux, bronchialitis)

And we have had infinity cuddles and kisses and laughs and smiles from two amazing little girls

update

Evangeline and Mikayla are now almost 7 months old. We haven't blogged for a while because things have been busy - bit of an understatement.
We moved house at the end of June, thankfully only a few streets away. It was insane! Apart from the packing and unpacking, moving day itself was the most full-on with John and a couple of guys moving the big stuff in while Bek sat on the floor in an emptying house all day with two very tired babies. Anywho, it's done, and we're in, and finally have the internet and phone, and are very happy in our bigger new place.
The other challenge we've faced in the last few months is both girls' severe reflux. After their surgery, Mikayla's really flared up and she screamed endlessly for several days. We ended up in hospital on mother's day and she is now on medication which finally settled her down. Evangeline was diagnosed with silent reflux (silent as in no vomiting, not no screaming!) 2 months ago, explaining her screaming and sleeplessness. She is on different meds but is taking a bit longer to get back to napping properly during the day.
Despite our lack of sleep (we still average 5 interrupted hours a night, and no day naps), we are finding the girls a delight.
In the last couple of months they have become more aware of each other as separate people and more interested in one another. This has its pros and cons: Mikayla rolls onto Evangeline, to her annoyance, and frequently pulls her hair or bites her feet. She is also good at taking the dummy out of Evie's mouth and putting it in her own (sometimes this means throwing away her own dummy first). Mikayla is annoyed by Evie crying or taking her toy. Sharing is already becoming an issue, with both girls wanting whatever toy the other one has. BUT their interest in each other far outweighs all their annoyance in each other in the moments of cooing to each other while feeding, or rolling towards each other and playing and chatting away when we put them in the same cot when they wake up in the morning.
Individually, we are finding them to be quite different in personality, just as in looks they are continuing to grow more different. Blonde fair-skinned Evie is quite gentle and quiet. She likes to wait until she can do something perfectly before trying it. She sits on her own now, but doesn't like being on her tummy or rolling. She loves books and has really taken to solid food. Dark haired olive skinned Minky is a little gymnast and won't be still long enough to learn to sit. She rolls everywhere and is trying to crawl. While Evie will sometimes chat away, Minky never stops talking, often loudly. Both laugh a lot and love songs and stories. We're really looking forward to them laughing at each other and to some of their getting up to double mischief.

Their differences in personality are also reflected in their sleeping and eating habits, which has really showed us how little the benchmarks that people compare mothers by (such as the holy grail of 'sleeping through the night'!) have to do with actual parenting as a child's individual personality and developmental readiness.

New blog

I have a related blog, breastfeeding twins, I've just started, if you've stumbled across this blog and are interested in breastfeeding your own twins. It's just a collection of my experiences with breastfeeding the girls so far: http://twinbreastfeeding.blogspot.com/

Not fair?

It's easy to become obsessed with getting babies to sleep. Babies are exhausting. Two babies at once is very exhausting. Two babies who don't sleep at the same time is beyond exhausting. Most of the blogs and books and mums I've heard from talk about how tiring motherhood is. Which is true. But it's easy to get so caught up in our tiredness that we lose sight of the blessing it is to have children. I was recommended a blog to read about sleep deprivation with babies. And all it said about the fog of living without sleep for months on end, of the frustrations of having sick and sleepless babies, of being on edge and cranky, was true. But the writer also commented that it doesn't seem fair that some mothers are given babies who sleep and some are given babies who don't.
I disagree.
While I'm very tired and time is short to do anything besides feed and settle and wash and... my babies aren't burdens to be borne. They are wonderful amazing gifts. Better to be tired and frustrated with two gorgeous sleepless babies, than to have no children at all. What isn't fair isn't whether someone else's child sleeps better or eats faster or is never sick, it's when I get two babies while some people will never get even one longed for child.

How to… bath two babies

1. Avoid bathing for as long as possible


2. When really stinky, place both babies in cot


3. Get out towels, washers and new outfits


4. Fill baby bath


5. Undress baby one, wrap in towel and move to bathroom


6. Wash baby one’s face and shampoo hair


7. Take baby one back to room, place in cot, have someone else dry baby’s hair and take off nappy


8. Meanwhile, undress baby two, wrap in towel and move to bathroom


9. Wash baby two’s face and shampoo hair


10. Take baby two back to room, pick up nude baby one and move to bathroom


11. Bath baby one


12. Wrap in towel and take back to room


13. Have someone else dress her. Meanwhile, take nude baby two to bathroom, and bath


14. Take baby two back to room, dry and dress baby two. Meanwhile, baby one has been dried and dressed and is screaming for food


15. Think about sitting down for a breather but instead move both babies into feeding area


16. Congratulate self on two clean babies

How to… breastfeed two babies

1. Set up pillows on large lounge


2. Have changed babies lying down on either side of pillows


3. Sit down and place feeding pillow on lap


4. Lean over and lift up one baby and position onto pillow


5. Wedge baby onto pillow and hope she doesn’t learn to roll today


6. Lean over and lift up second baby and position onto pillow


7. Take deep breath


8. Latch on first baby


9. Latch on second baby


10. First baby needs burping, lift onto shoulder but don’t move too much or second baby will detach


11. Place first baby back down and reattach, then lift up second baby for burp
    Repeat


12. Someone comes to the door, detach both babies, place on either side of lounge, remove pillow, get up, answer door. OR ignore door and phone because it’s not worth it


13. When finished, place nappy cloths onto shoulders, then lift up both babies onto either shoulder and burp, OR remove babies, remove pillow, then lift babies onto lap to sit and burp, crossing arms over to hold each baby under the chin


14. Ungainly get up, place both babies on lounge, re-change dirty nappies, wipe vomit off shirt, place babies on play mat on floor.


15. 2 hours later, repeat.

How to… change two babies’ nappies

1. Wash hands
   
2. Place baby one in cot


3. Place baby two in cot and start mobile


4. Place baby one on change table, change nappy, repeat as she poos.


5. Redress baby one, place in cot, restart mobile


6. Place baby two on change table, undo nappy, remove, quickly place new nappy under bottom, but too late


7. Place nude baby in cot, put on clean nappy


8. Change outfit and place in wash


9. Ignore wee in baby’s hair


10. Wipe down change mat, refill wipes and nappy bag


11. Wash hands


12. Pick up both babies at once and move to feeding area

3 months

E right M left

The girls are three months old today!

They've already put on almost 3 kg each since birth, and are real chubby bubbies now.

Both girls favourite book is 'Squeak Squeak' (about a mouse), favourite toy is the Winnie the Pooh mobile, favourite song is 'I'm a Little Teapot', and favourite thing to look at is the window. Evie loves being rocked, and Minky still likes the bouncer. Evie has started to like having a dummy to settle, and Minky needs to be swaddled super tight in a cot sheet.

Mikayla

It's been a very long three months of very little sleep, but is also going so fast! They think Dadda's dancing is hilarious and aren't too worried about Jack barking (not at them!). Despite being premmie, the girls started to smile and laugh not long after other babies their birth age, and recently are discovering each other to look at. They've moved from the bassinette to a cot (still sharing), still in our room. They're in 000 already and don't both fit in the sling anymore.

Evangeline

Two of the same?

We're coming across the assumption a lot that the girls are just two of the same baby. A few people have even commented to us that twins must be easier than having two kids of different ages, because at least they do everything at the same time. Yeah right.

Looks

While the girls are looking more alike as they grow, they still look very different. Evie has light hair and an oval face, where Kaylee is darker and chubbier.

Crying & Sleeping

They have distinct cries. Evie tends to work herself up into a purple-faced frenzy, but then settles quickly when cuddled. Once asleep, she's out until woken up. Mikayla cries on and off, takes a very long time to settle completely, sometimes doesn't sleep, or only sleeps lightly. She also talks in her sleep, which is pretty funny. The girls have conspired to spend most nights unsettled after different feeds. So we might spend 11-1am settling Evie and then 2-4am settling Mikayla, and then start again. They both sleep better some days than others, but overall we're getting about 4-5 hours sleep a day.

Eating & Burping

Like sleeping, Evangeline will latch on and stay on until she is finished. Then she'll burp, although she is more windy and gets distressed often after eating and can take a while and a few techniques to get the burps out.

Mikayla struggles to latch on as well and always tries to stick a fist in her mouth instead. Once on, she is more on and off and needs a burp halfway through. She usually vomits after each feed, often a few times, but doesn't get too upset about it. Kaylee also loves her dummy (which is very annoying for us to have to keep popping it back in when she spits it. Hadn't planned on giving dummies yet, but good old SCN gave her one in hospital). Evie isn't interested in dummies at all.

Both girls are smiling in their post-feed dream land, and we've had one smile at us from Evie. Mikayla also loves the rocker, where Evangeline can take or leave it, but loves being held in the rocking chair.

Evangeline: just saw lunch

Mikalya: stretching

4 weeks

The girls are 4 weeks old today! They've put back on their birth weight plus another kilo each. They've lost the jaundice and are eating and occasionally sleeping well. Both are the most beautiful baby girls in the world!

Twins

Some newborn twin stats.

In one day we spend:

• 8-11 hours double breastfeeding



• 4 hours changing nappies



• 3 hours dual burping



• 6 hours settling/cuddling



• 4-5 hours sleeping

In a day we use:

• 18-20 nappies



• 40 wipes



• 4 wraps



• 2 blankets



• 4 burp/vomit cloths



• 3-5 onsies



• 4-6 singlets

We get:

• half the sleep



• twice the tears



• twice the smiles



• and twice the cuddles

Evangeline and Mikayla

Evangeline Olivia Murray & Mikayla Trinity Murray

Born 3rd February 2009

E: 6.40pm, M: 7.10pm



E: 2050g M: 2210g



Most beautiful girls in the world!

From 2 plus 1 to 5

The news is, Bek is being induced on Tuesday. An ultrasound last Thursday showed that the babies both look healthy, but aren't growing enough. Estimated weights were 2.1 and 2.3 kg at 35.5 weeks. This means their placentas probably aren't working properly anymore, and they've well and truly run out of room, so it's wiser to bring them out now.

It's been a very mixed pregnancy, with us both extremely happy to be having children, to Bek being extremely sick and uncomfortable the whole time. The twin pregnancy has been fairly horrible, from hyperemesis (non-stop vomiting all day every day), pelvic pain to the point of not being able to walk much, overheating (!), even the babies' movements hurting because there is so little room, very itchy skin, sore back, fatigue, swollen feet, carpal tunnel syndrome, and the list could go on. But all this ends in two days, and the reason for it all makes every last pain and discomfort worth it:

Psalm 92:4 'For you, O Lord, have made me glad by your work;

at the works of your hands I sing for joy.'

Sit, Stay, Drop: The Philosophy of Dog Training, Part I

There are several views on dog training around. One is that dogs have been domesticated for so long that the old pack concept and 'alpha' dog/person relationships are irrelevant to today's pampered Fido. The other is that the idea of the pack is still ingrained in the pet dog and influences its every action. Each method also differs vastly in how the dog is trained.


If you follow the first method, any kind of negative instruction is forbidden, and only rewards and affection are appropriate to give the learning dog. If you adhere more to the second concept, your relationship with the dog must be established and reinforced first before any 'training', including rewards, can begin.


In our 3 years with Jack, we've come to believe more and more in the inate pack mentality of the dog - big or small. The claim of some dog trainers that dogs no longer have inate wild behaviours seems to be contradicted by many unlearned but shared behaviours. Jack never saw another dog bury a bone, yet began to do this himself at a few months old. Jack never learnt to pee lifting one leg, or to mark trees, yet began to do this at 2 years. Some behaviours still seem ingrained in the dog, that only have relevance in a wild pack situation. There is no need for Jack to bury his bone in the yard - no other animal is going to take it from him, and he will get another one tomorrow - yet he continues to do so.


More importantly is the dog's relationship to its 'pack'. While for wolves or wild dogs this is their family group, for the domestic dog it is its human family. And while the dog will show loyalty to death to its pack, it also needs to know where it fits in. For the dog, the shifting and establishing of its role within the pack is the point of life. And most 'bad' dog behaviours, from biting and excessive barking, to pulling on the lead on a walk, extend from the dog's confusion over its place within the pack.

Last Hoorah

Weekend away in the city, Amora Hotel:

33 weeks

Flotsam and Jetsam are now almost 33 weeks. We had yet another morphology ultrasound on Wednesday and both are weighing in well at 1.8 kg each. Bek is measuring at 39 weeks, however, and feels like an elephant. Both babies are moving like crazy, and little elbows, bottoms and feet make alien-like bumps and movements beneath the skin, but it means we know they're still doing okay in there. We met our midwife this week, who has a lot of experience delivering twins and was able to go over the details of how this labour and birth will differ from a single baby delivery. Our bags are packed, we have bought the last few big items we need (baby bath, high chair etc), and the car seats are being fitted today. So we're hoping they stay in there for a few more weeks, and should have a double announcement for everyone within the next 5 weeks...